Mia is a 21 year old Trans artist and theatre theorist.
She is finishing her undergraduate degree in Dramatic Arts
at Brock University this year.
They don’t see me, they see my shoulders, they see my height, my gait, my stride and they hear my voice,
And I can’t breathe.
I want them to know me, they just see a faggot, they turn away to hide their shame, as if somehow my existence is an affront to them, as if somehow it is corrupting their planet, their society. There is no room for me to breathe.
I want you to see me, but I’ve been hiding so long I don’t know if I can breathe in the open.
I want you to notice the flowing edge of my skirt, the neckline of my shirt, and I want you to just know that I am finally breathing.
I want to feel like someone knows me, I want to feel known, and seen and heard. I don’t think I’ve ever been seen before, maybe once, but I could never hide from him anyway.
I want someone who can look at me and see through all the costumes, the lies, and the walls.
You get to be seen, you get to breathe, and no one can strip who you are from you, I remain obfuscated, not by choice mind you, but through fear and sometimes through force, fear that I will be stripped of everything that makes me who I am, everything that has ever allowed me to breathe.
The way I am is not deemed to be acceptable in the public eye; it is perverse and shameful, to be kept behind closed doors and away from the normal and well-behaved citizenry, I am told to hold my breath and wait for things to get better.
I am confusing, I am a statement.
I am a political act, I am an art installation, something to fear or praise.
But all I want to be is alive. My life is not made for spectacle. I am just trying to breathe. I am just trying to be the person I am. Maybe not the person I was born to be, certainly not the person I was told to be. But just the closest I can get to a person I like… a person who I can see in a mirror and smile too.
I know too you I may be distracting but all I am trying to do is breathe.